Grapevine Wreath in the Garden

It was June of 1999. This will be the first of a few posts that refer back to 1999. Oh what a year it was! I was a subscriber to Garden Gate Magazine (still am) that included a gardening "tip" section sent in from their readers. If they thought it was good enough to publish, they alerted you of your success and sent you a copy of that issue for free. If they indeed felt your tip was great enough to feature, along with an illustration, not only did you get a free copy of that issue, but it also earned you $25! Well guess what people? Yep, it was my lucky year. Take a look!

Quite Handsome as Buzzards Go I Suppose

June 26, 2010 - "Look at the big birdie!" I heard this guy say to his small child in tow behind his bike. I was watering my garden in the front of the house when he stopped and pointed to the street ahead. When I stepped forward to see what he was pointing to, there was a huge turkey vulture; standing as big and proud as he could. He had just claimed a meal; a dead squirrel that someone had run over earlier. I asked the guy if he wouldn't mind staying put until I returned with my camera for fear if he moved, so would the bird.

The vulture didn't seem to mind the audience; at least not until a man and his dog approached. At that moment the vulture spread his 8' wings (slight exaggeration, but not much) and flew up onto my neighbor's roof. Once up there he looked down on us like we were his disciples and he was preaching the gospel. He puffed up his wings and strutted around like he was putting on a show for us.

Eventually he flew back to finish what he started before disappearing through the trees. He was an ugly buzzard; but awesome at the same time. Just another one of Mother Nature's many creatures; albeit not one of her cuter ones. I guess even Mother Nature has her bad days.

The Philosophy of Ambiguity - Humorous reading

I received this in an email from my sister, and enjoyed it enough that I felt it would be a good addition to my blog. Enjoy!

FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH, PLEASE READ ON:

1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.
2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR. (MY FAVORITE!)
3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.
4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?
5. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.
6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF- HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.
7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?
8. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?
9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?
10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?
11. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL PERSON IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES, DO THEY BECOME DISORIENTED?
12. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD ?
13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?
14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?
15. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?
16. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?
17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?
18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?
19. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?
20. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS"?21. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?
22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.
23. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?
24. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY?
25. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?
26. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?
27. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?
28. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE?
29. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD 'LISP' TO HAVE 'S' IN IT?
30. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?

What to Do in the Case of a Tornado - My Own Theory

If you live in an area where tornados are known to touch down, I believe you will benefit greatly by the following. What you need to know right now is where there is a farm nearby with chickens. Once you have determined its location, make note of it and keep that note handy; someplace that you'll remember.

When a tornado is predicted for your area, keep in mind that farm mentioned above and refer to the note if necessary. When the tornado is threatening, start making your way to the farm while you are still able to drive. Park and wait. When you see the funnel off in the distance, grab the first chicken you can get your hands on and hold onto it for dear life. Once the funnel has passed, you and the chicken should be very windblown and calling for Auntie Em, but alive and safe. It is now okay to release the poor ruffled thing.

I know this works because of all the movies I've seen about tornados. You always see houses, trees, tankers, buses, and cows in the funnel, but .... YOU NEVER SEE A CHICKEN! So there ya go! Give it a try and post the results. I'm curious to know if my theory is correct.

Hummingbird Baby and Its Mama - Great Video!

Check out this video posted on YouTube! It's the sweetest thing with a happy ending. Hummingbirds are known for being fearless. They will come right up to you if you stand near the feeder. Once I had glasses with red plastic frames. While standing in my front yard one day, a hummingbird come right up to me and poked my lenses with his beak; undoubtedly trying to see if there was any nectar to be had I assume. :)

Peter & Peeps -- Rescued Baby Hummingbird Fed in Hand by Mother
Fallen baby hummingbird rescued, nursed to health, and fed by mother hummingbird while being held by Peter Tommerup, Saratoga CA, June 2007.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7xBLvMIBZU

Not Your Ordinary Garden Border

If you have worn or chipped china or mismatched pieces and you're thinking of tossing them, why not use them in your garden as a decorative or even functional, border. I do mosaics, so had a lot of salad plates left over from projects I completed. I purchased the china from yard sales for near nothing. Since I already had a stone border, I placed my dishes further apart and used them more as an accent piece. But if you have enough, place them close together or even overlap them a tad and it makes a great and attractive border for your garden; not to mention a neat conversational piece.

Another great idea is to take clay pots of varying sizes; turn them upside down and line them up across a flower garden. Clay pots are relatively inexpensive, and the construction of the border is effortless. One caveat for zones that get to 32-degrees F or below though: clay pots do not survive winters outside. They crack and crumble and can't be reused for the purpose originally intended. Therefore, you will have to gather them up and put them inside your shed or garage and bring them out again in Spring. If you do forget and leave them out, don't toss the shards of clay you most certainly find after the last days of winter, but rather, save them for the bottom of your containers when planting time arrives. Stone or gravel is always recommended for the bottom of pots before adding soil, and clay shards work just as well.

Rescuing Sugar Joe

Isn't he the cutest? It will soon be a year since we adopted Kolby from the 11th Hour Rescue and brought him home to join our family in August of 2009.

We were on our way to LensCrafters to pick up my new glasses when I noticed a "Dog Adoption Today" sign in front of PetSmart. "Let's go take a look" I pleaded with Rob. Normally, there would be no hesitation, but just 2 weeks prior we had returned an 8-month old Springer Spaniel puppy we adopted the previous March because, unfortunately, she had aggression issues and came very close to killing our cat Luca. Sooooo, do we try again so soon? There were many dogs vying for human attention and putting on their best "please adopt me now" performance. Rob spotted Kolby as he was the only dog not barking. He was shy and somewhat timid with very unique markings. The tag said "Sugar Joe"; Australian Shepherd mix. We liked him a lot, despite the huge mat of hair that took over his entire back and a "doggy" smell that was overbearing. Papers signed, leash, collar and other necessities paid for and off we went. We drove all the way home with all windows down and our heads hanging out so we could breathe.

The first thing I did when we got home was bathe him and cut off that rug that used to be his fur (outside on the deck of course). We weren't thrilled with the name Sugar Joe, and 5 days later came up with Kolby, as in cheese. Kolby was one of 200 dogs that were rescued from shelters in the south that were on the euthanasia list. His papers were generated in Georgia, so we can only assume that's where his prior home was. He has turned out to be the best companion anyone could ever ask for. He minds well, has a very sweet disposition, gets along great with other dogs and even cats (thank goodness!), rarely barks and obeys commands. Everyone loves him. He continually receives praise from others, and everyone remarks on his coloring. We love our baby boy to pieces. He's the best! Earlier this year his photo and bio was published in the local newspaper (see below). Kolby turns 3 on June 30th, and you can bet he'll be spoiled even more that day!